Not least because it suggests things were dodgy in the marriage anyway. So, if a quiet examination of conscience suggests you’re likely to go on about it, maybe cut loose. You may not be able to move on very fast, but not moving on at all is disastrous. The only couples I have seen really falling apart after this kind of lapse are the ones where the injured party either has an even more stupid fling for revenge, or those where she decides to weaponise the affair, enrol the children in her army and frequently refer to it, even in public. It also depends on how able you are to let it drop and cope kindly with the family. Libby Purves (pictured) says cheating can be pretty much forgotten in passing years
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